


twelve wrong questions (more or less)

by N_Is_For_Knowledge



Series: Fictober '20 [2]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Transcendence (Gravity Falls), Fictober 2020, Gen, Just some cuteness, Secret Identity, Social Media, Superheroes, Texting, Tumblr, Twitter, WIRED autocomplete interview, YouTube, oh shit i almost forgot to tag, yall i love these two so much you don't even know, yes the title is an atwq reference none of you can stop me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26917177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/N_Is_For_Knowledge/pseuds/N_Is_For_Knowledge
Summary: "She peels off another piece of paper. She’s gotten slightly better at it..“Is Shooting Star… dead? No, I’m not. Are all the questions gonna be like this?”A voice in the background, presumably someone from FIRED, answers “No.”"Shooting Star and the Comet do the FIRED Autocomplete Interview.
Relationships: Alcor the Dreambender & Phoebe Patzner
Series: Fictober '20 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1957561
Comments: 5
Kudos: 42





	twelve wrong questions (more or less)

**Author's Note:**

> For prompts 8 ("I'm not doing that again") and 9 ("will you look at this?").
> 
> i had to watch so many interviews for this you don't even know

**Shooting Star & the Comet Answer The Web’s Most Searched Questions | FIRED**

31,640,264 views  - October 6, 4611  - 👍 924K 👎 5.7K

**_FIRED-_ ** _ 8.3M subscribers _

******************************************

The video opens on Shooting Star and the Comet, superheroes and social media celebrities, sitting in a white room. Non-Ashervillians might recognize them from blurry pictures on Clucker. Ashervillians might recognize them from seeing them every other day.

“Hey, I’m Shooting Star, Asherville’s resident protector.”

“And I’m the Comet, Star’s sidekick and resident pun-master.”

“And this is the Fired-”

“Autocomplete-”

“Interview!” 

Cut to white words on a screen, reading ‘Autocomplete suggests the most common searches on the internet.’

Comet has a styrofoam question board. He pauses for a few seconds, then whacks Star with it.

“What was that for?”

Comet just grins.

Cut to white words on a screen, reading ‘So FIRED asked Asherville’s resident superheroes some of the Internet’s burning questions.’

Shooting Star holds a question board, reading ‘Is Shooting Star... ‘. She attempts to peel off one of the little bits of paper. It takes nearly ten seconds.

“ _ Is Shooting Star…  _ real? Am I? Hey, Comet, am I real?”

“Uh, yeah, I think so.”

She peels off another piece of paper. She’s gotten slightly better at it..

“ _ Is Shooting Star…  _ dead? No, I’m not. Are all the questions gonna be like this?”

A voice in the background, presumably someone from FIRED, answers “No.”

“Okay.” Star takes a deep breath and peels off another piece of paper. “ _ Is Shooting Star…  _ human? Yep.”

“How long is this even going to take?” 

“I don’t even know.” She peels off another piece of paper. “ _ Is Shooting Star…  _ gay?”

“Is this about that “be gay do crimes” post? Because I feel like it’s about that “be gay do crimes” post.”

“I mean, I denied the crime, but not the gay, so… yeah! I’m a lesbian.”

Comet stares at her, confused. “I thought you were American?”

“I’m not even going to respond to that. Anyway, that’s the first board done, so…” Star chucks the board at Comet’s head. It hits him squarely in the nose.

“What was that for?”

Star merely smiles innocently. “Payback.”

Cut to a view of the same room with the same people in it. Comet is now holding a question board, reading ‘Is Shooting Star’s sidekick…’. He peels off a piece of paper successfully, but it sticks to his finger. He shakes it. It refuses to come off.

“Why do we have to use these question boards anyway? What is this, 2014?”

Star glares at him.

“Okay, okay, fine.  _ Is Shooting Star’s sidekick _ \- hey, I have a name, you know! Sorry,  _ is Shooting Star’s sidekick…  _ real? Yeah, I guess. Why do I feel like I’m going to get the same questions you got?”

“Come on, how many people can be out there wondering if you’re dead?”

“Probably a lot.” Comet peels off another piece of paper. “ _ Is Shooting Star’s sidekick…  _ the Antichrist? I’m sorry, what?” He gestures to the incriminating question. “Will you look at this, Star?”

“I’m looking! Are you kidding me?”

“I mean…” He pauses.. “Yeah. Whatever floats your boat.” He places the board on the ground and stands up, as if he’s making some big announcement. “I’m the Antichrist. You heard it here first, folks.”

Star tries very hard to not laugh. “Sit down.”

“Fine.” He sits down, grabs the board, and peels off another piece of paper. “ _ Is Shooting Star’s sidekick…  _ human?” He winks and points finger guns at the camera. “That’s classified.”

Star giggles at that. 

Comet beams. “Finally! You think I’m funny!”

Star shoves him. “I do  _ not  _ think you’re funny.” However, she’s still smiling.

Cut to a view of the same room with the same people in it. Star is now holding a question board, reading ‘shooting star’. 

She peels off a piece of paper. “ _ What is Shooting Star’s name? _ Shooting Star.”

“Fun fact, it actually says that on her birth certificate.”

“Stop. But seriously, I’m not revealing my identity anytime soon. And you’re definitely not going to find it on *bleep*ing  _ Froogle.” _

Another piece of paper comes off. You know the drill. “ _ What are Shooting Star’s powers?  _ Well, there’s enhanced strength, agility- hey, Comet, what’s that fancy name for the light controlling?”

“What, photokinesis?”

“Yeah, that! And flight, obviously-”

“Don’t forget excessive cheerfulness.”

“I’m not that cheerful. I’m just optimistic.”

“You’re excessively optimistic, then.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault you’re a pessimist!”

“I’m realistic-”

An ad plays. Of course. This is MeTube, after all. You don’t know how you escaped the ads for even a few minutes. It’s a grating thing about PorchDash’s new delivery drones. You wait one hour. The ad is still playing, but now there’s a little button on the side of the display.

**_[ SKIP AD ]_ **

  
  


******************************************

**frannie (they/them)** _@frangarlett_

watchin the new ss&tc interview and just noticed how star is giving actual answers as to her powerset and how she became a superhero and shit while comet’s just like “that’s classified”

> **we fight crime i guess** _@s-star-and-the-comet_

i’m just the sidekick! i’m nowhere near as interesting or powerful as star. the truth would just bore y’all  _ ¯ _ \ _ _( _ ツ _ )_/¯-  _ ☄️

******************************************

**shootingstxr**

comet has absolutely FED us with nonhuman rep in  today’s interview

**powerhouseofthecell**

was it ever confirmed he was actually nh? yall just love making assumptions with no basis

**shootingstxr**

hello??? most humans when asked “are you human?” actually give a correct fucking answer. just look at ss! a public figure who answers “that’s classified” either gets off on watching millions of nhs be inevitably disappointed that they once again have zero rep, thinks its funny for some goddamn reason, or is actually nh

**cometwatch**

ive seen a theory going around that he’s a vamp, and, tbh, with the number of references he makes to thousand-year-old pop culture, it actually kinda makes sense

**rainbow-fox**

yeah but vamps don’t show up on camera??

**cryingbreakfastgays**

actually, vamps do show up on magi-cams! the “cameras don’t show vampires” myth began with pre-transcendence recording devices, which aren’t able to display them.

******************************************

**ava but spooky** _ @avily _

who even organized the  _ #SS&TCInterview _ ? do they have a pr team

> **we fight crime i guess** _@s-star-and-the-comet_

no, we don’t have a pr team. we’re too broke for a pr team. everything was organized by one guy. - 🌟

I AM NOT DOING THAT AGAIN. I AM NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN. - ☄️

there was so much paperwork. - 🌟

******************************************

**ria hall** _ @glowstickgloria _

dfghjuytfghjkloksdfkjbgyuijnbghukmnjj

> **phoebe✨** _ @ppatzner _

are you having a stroke 

>> **ria hall** _ @glowstickgloria _

it’s a gay stroke

>>> **phoebe✨** _ @ppatzner _

shooting star again?

>>>> **ria hall** _ @glowstickgloria _

yeah

******************************************

**Alcor The Dreambender** _ @alcor-official-618 _

this is a shameless shout-out to the best people ever,  _ @s-star-and-the-comet _ love y’all 

> **we fight crime i guess** _@s-star-and-the-comet_

love you too alcor! you know all the best places in the galaxy to hang out, and are also super funny - ☄️

******************************************

**|private chat- dipdots & phoebe|**

**_phoebe:_ ** imagine creating two separate clucker accounts and clucking to yourself with them

**_dipdots:_ ** yeah imagine that. not like id ever do that ever 

**_phoebe:_ ** shut up

  
  



End file.
